Outlook loves to overhype it’s articles. Their recent coverstory on the cliched topic, sex / India / Indian women got criticised for overhyping it. This one on the celibates-by-choice isn’t one of those category. It makes real sense maybe because I am able to relate to it. The article details on the growing population of singles in the metros of India.
I’ve gone through this feeling of being a single throughout life, several times. Had even joked to friends that celibacy may not be a choice but the only option left. Fortunately, I wasn’t lucky like those singles. Have no qualms. Infact, its a lot lot better than being single. I have to admit marriage softens oneself. Forget the dreamy romance stuff. It’s not about it. It’s about the rebel in you getting toned down to accomodate two minds, rather than one. Many a time, softening down gives you a matured perspective. However, you slowly loose the rebel in you to become a middleclass ‘ambi’. Ambi or Rebel, you’ve got to choose.
I am sure that there might be varied thoughts as this is a larger area under discussion and I have chose to talk only about a few.
Thatz an interesting point “soften oneself”. I guess people soften coz of the sacrificies they make for each other after marraige.
Posted by:That is the reason why one should choose a girl friend who is as wild and opinionated.
Posted by:Being single : Rebel :Hor’rebel..phase..
Posted by:Being married : Ambi : Ambidextrous?
That was a nice article,but on hindsight,it is the height of hypocrisy.At some point of time,the sense of longing for someone close/related creeps in,not to forget the hormonal thrust that would expose the hypocrites quite easily!
‘Frogs in the well,choosing to celebrate their cowardice; never really daring to figure out what life has got to offer them!”
But whats wrong being a rebel and staying single. You get all the freedom you want in life ;-)
Posted by:And there are people like Abdul Kalam who have scaled heights by being single ;-)
Agree with you that its a lot better than being a single…. especially these lines..
“It’s about the rebel in you getting toned down to accomodate two minds, rather than one. Many a time, softening down gives you a matured perspective. “
Posted by:I always wondered what my life would have been like if I had not gotten married. I like to think that I might have been a hot bachelor. But when I think back, I realize that my single life was a total washout. It’s nice to come home every night to a familiar face.
On a completely separate topic, I was heartened by the comment by Raapi above: ‘Frogs in the well,choosing to celebrate their cowardice’ I currently have that same problem in my sump pump area. Any suggestions on how to get rid of them?
Posted by:the outlook article was silly and pointless. it was vaguely trying to showcase something as new or hip or something, some kind of new pulp brand.
it’s only just a choice. what’s the big deal in it, really?
what makes being “single and metro” cateogorizable like that? what kind of a vague strain of commonality are people trying to relate to, through it?
there’s little common between single celibate journalists and single freshly-graduated getting-drunk-every-night call centre employees who ride bullet 350s around. i mean. being single doesnt’ make a lifestyle by itself, does it? just think about the same extension: how much do two marriages need to have in common either? nothing.
the article was big, dumb and hollow.
Posted by:“Two’s A Crowd” is an article about a certain group of people who celebrate being single. There is no problem in it as long as the article proves that the present (modern?) society accomodates such people, albeit sceptically.
The problem comes when somebody takes it prescriptively, which I believe some commentors have taken. It’s certainly not everybody’s cuppa. Relationships are really diverse. Most of them defy categorisation. I mean, for some, a spouse(ugh, I hate the word!) is more than a spouse. He/She is a friend, philosopher and guide.
Some might find a more fuilfilling relationship with a group of close knit friends. The level of intimacy is the key here. Some might enjoy/accomodate it. Some cannot. In the Indian context, marriage is the most socially acceptable form of intimacy. An arranged marriage brings two people suddenly embarrasingly close to each other; each closely eyeing the other; managing the rituals of living; nevertheless savouring the bitter sweet moments of togetherness.
There is nothing more painful than relationships that don’t work; yet nothing more fuilfilling than ones that do. That’s the gamble in any new relationship. Some may not risk it. They would prefer the cocoon of their present near and dear. They may never know what it is like on the other side. But, they have opted not to.
Posted by:what does a mag does if it doesnt have anything or havent thought anything worthy to write about? choose a cover story on sex-singles-genX…and BS the way you want - i think the recent india-today is on young consumers or some thing like it…give a break - anyway the blog by rashmi bansal - youthcurry.blogspot is a good take on one of the genX articles in ET
Posted by:The article was something I read recently over a flight accompanied by many single wo/men I knew. I suppose everyone thinks it is fashionable to do something which others don’t normally do. That accounts for some of the rush and urge to be single. If there is some purpose which one is trying to fulfil, and, which doesn’t accomodate another person, then it makes sense. Someone wanting to go and work in the rural areas might find sense in staying single rather than being nagged. So be it with doctors. Most of the people in the article were artists in a sense. This means a life full of high uncertainities and the typical artist’s satchel of idiosyncrasies. It makes sense in their life. There are so many who found someone who totally understood the vagaries of one’s lifestyle and settled down with them. So is it a case of not finding someone or truly wishing to be alone? The article captures what it wishes to present.
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